The following has been taken from Oticon, Inc.'s Workbook for Parents of Children who are Newly Identified as Hard of Hearing by Melanie Sisson, Au.D.:
The Adjustment Process For those of you who are not familiar with hearing loss or do not have family members with hearing loss, the diagnosis may be a surprise to you. You have likely spent little if any time thinking about the chance that your child may have a hearing loss. When hearing loss is found in the toddler stage, often parents have seen some signs that something may be wrong. Parents may notice lack of speech and language growth or lack of response to speech or other sounds. No two parents will react to hearing loss the same way. It will be unique to you and your family.
When you hear your child has a hearing loss you may feel grief, shock, worry, anger or sadness. It may feel that some of the dreams that you had for your child have been taken away from you. This time can be stressful and marked with doubt. It is normal to enter an adjustment process though which a final sense of peace can be achieved. You can accept the hearing loss. Granting yourself the grief you may feel and being fully aware of it is hard. But, it is a useful process. There are stages that can be involved in the adjustment process. You may find that you move from one stage to a new one and back again.
Denial
Denial means to dismiss what in fact has happened. It can provide a useful function. It can allow time to work through the early shock. It can also be harmful. It might cause delay in follow up or action needed for your infant or child.
Anger
You have a right to feel angry. You may wonder “Why my baby?” or “Why my child?” Your anger may be aimed at the experts who were involved in finding the hearing loss. It can also become a factor in your talking and dealing with other family members and experts.
Depression or Extreme Sadness
Signs of extreme sadness can include feeling like there is no hope or a loss of interest in the things that used to bring pleasure. Extreme sadness can be a result of losing the first dreams you had for your child.
Fear
Fear of the unknown is normal. Many unknowns about your child’s hearing loss may make you fearful. What will the future be like? Will my child learn to talk? Will my child go to college? Will the hearing loss get worse?
Guilt
You may have some feelings of guilt. What caused my child’s hearing loss? Is it something I did or did not do that has caused my child’s hearing loss? Feeling guilty implies that you have the power to make things happen or to prevent things from happening. Keep in mind, there are many things in the life over which you have no control. This insight can create worry for parents as they learn they cannot always protect their children.
Anxiety or Worry
The unknown future can also cause a great amount of worry. Not knowing how the hearing loss will affect your child as s/he becomes an adult, may leave you feeling helpless as you learn that there will be future events that are out of your control.
The Adjustment Process For those of you who are not familiar with hearing loss or do not have family members with hearing loss, the diagnosis may be a surprise to you. You have likely spent little if any time thinking about the chance that your child may have a hearing loss. When hearing loss is found in the toddler stage, often parents have seen some signs that something may be wrong. Parents may notice lack of speech and language growth or lack of response to speech or other sounds. No two parents will react to hearing loss the same way. It will be unique to you and your family.
When you hear your child has a hearing loss you may feel grief, shock, worry, anger or sadness. It may feel that some of the dreams that you had for your child have been taken away from you. This time can be stressful and marked with doubt. It is normal to enter an adjustment process though which a final sense of peace can be achieved. You can accept the hearing loss. Granting yourself the grief you may feel and being fully aware of it is hard. But, it is a useful process. There are stages that can be involved in the adjustment process. You may find that you move from one stage to a new one and back again.
Denial
Denial means to dismiss what in fact has happened. It can provide a useful function. It can allow time to work through the early shock. It can also be harmful. It might cause delay in follow up or action needed for your infant or child.
Anger
You have a right to feel angry. You may wonder “Why my baby?” or “Why my child?” Your anger may be aimed at the experts who were involved in finding the hearing loss. It can also become a factor in your talking and dealing with other family members and experts.
Depression or Extreme Sadness
Signs of extreme sadness can include feeling like there is no hope or a loss of interest in the things that used to bring pleasure. Extreme sadness can be a result of losing the first dreams you had for your child.
Fear
Fear of the unknown is normal. Many unknowns about your child’s hearing loss may make you fearful. What will the future be like? Will my child learn to talk? Will my child go to college? Will the hearing loss get worse?
Guilt
You may have some feelings of guilt. What caused my child’s hearing loss? Is it something I did or did not do that has caused my child’s hearing loss? Feeling guilty implies that you have the power to make things happen or to prevent things from happening. Keep in mind, there are many things in the life over which you have no control. This insight can create worry for parents as they learn they cannot always protect their children.
Anxiety or Worry
The unknown future can also cause a great amount of worry. Not knowing how the hearing loss will affect your child as s/he becomes an adult, may leave you feeling helpless as you learn that there will be future events that are out of your control.